SBI Model - giving feedback the right way
Feedback is one of those words that makes people tense up.
I’ve seen it happen countless times - both when I was an engineering manager and now as a coach.
I still remember one moment vividly.
The Lesson That Changed How I Gave Feedback
Years ago, I pulled a developer aside after a sprint review.
They’d been interrupting others during demos, and I wanted to address it.
I said something like, “You can come across as dismissive sometimes; you need to let others finish.”
It was meant to be constructive.
But the next day, they barely spoke in stand-up.
That was my wake-up call.
I’d attacked the person’s character, not described their behaviour.
The intention was good but the delivery wasn’t.
Why Feedback Fails
When feedback triggers defensiveness, it’s usually because it’s:
- Too vague (“You need to be more proactive”)
- Too late (“Remember that thing from two weeks ago?”)
- Too personal (“You’re always negative”)
We think we’re being helpful, but our words land as judgement instead of guidance.
And when people feel judged, they shut down and you lose the chance to improve performance and trust.
The SBI Model
I came across the Situation–Behaviour–Impact (SBI) framework while training as a coach.
It immediately clicked because it was practical and respectful - something I could use the next day in a 1-1.
Here’s how it works:
1️⃣ Situation — Describe when and where the behaviour occurred. Be specific.
“In yesterday’s demo…”
2️⃣ Behaviour — Describe what you observed — no labels or assumptions.
“…you interrupted before the team finished presenting…”
3️⃣ Impact — Describe the effect it had on people, process, or outcomes.
“…and it made others hesitant to share their ideas.”
That’s it.
Then, pause and invite their view:
“How do you see it?”
“What could we try differently next time?”
That’s where the coaching begins.
Why It Works
The SBI model works because it:
- Keeps feedback anchored in facts, not opinions.
- Focuses on behaviour, not personality.
- Builds clarity and trust - two of Google’s Project Aristotle factors for effective teams.
- Encourages mutual ownership of change instead of blame.
It’s the bridge between management and coaching - the shift from telling to exploring.
How I Use It in Coaching
When I work with tech managers, I often ask:
“How confident are you in the quality of feedback happening in your team?”
The answers range from “pretty good” to “we don’t really do feedback unless it’s bad.”
So we practice SBI.
They quickly see it’s not about scripts - it’s about tone and timing.
Once feedback feels normal, trust grows.
Teams start addressing small issues early - before they snowball into big ones.
Try It This Week
Pick one moment this week to give feedback using SBI.
It could be:
- A positive moment you want to reinforce
- A behaviour that’s affecting team flow
- A small interaction you’d usually let slide
Keep it short and specific.
Then notice how the conversation feels different.
Free Resource: SBI Feedback
To help you use this with your team, I’ve created a free downloadable that includes:
- A quick-reference SBI script
- Real examples (reinforcing + redirecting feedback)
- “Do & Don’t” checklist for clarity and tone
👉 Download the SBI Feedback Framework
Final Thought
Good feedback isn’t about being tough or nice - it’s about being useful and KIND.
The SBI framework gives you the structure to do exactly that:
clear, calm, and focused on growth.
“Feedback is information, not evaluation.”
When leaders make feedback part of everyday conversation, teams stop fearing it — and start using it.